Bye, 2012.

Typical post for another year end/new year. But this year, 2013, I don't feel like it's a whole new year. Maybe because there isn't any long break in between. Everything is like overlapping each and other. Fun but mum nag...

I have a habit of writing out new year resolutions like the others since 2010 I think. Well, it was a new thing I learnt about back then, and they say by making list of what u are going to achieve in the year helps u to be a successful person. Wanted to be successful I guess. Hahaha!

My past lists were a bit kiddie but 2012 one was fine I guess. (2012's New Year Resolution)

• Sleep earlier. (On the to-do list since the day I learnt to make new year resolution list)

Always fail. This is still gonna be on the 2013 list. x/

• Learn something new.

I actually bought a harmonica. But I havent master it. Or better still I only trried like once/twice on the same note. I started to learn swimming too. Only swam for like 4 times? Fail case. But my friends say I actually know how to swim. Just dont know how to breath. =.=

• Tattoo?

Not done yet. Fear blocking my way. Ya. Would like to try. One who scared of injections wanna try having tattoo. So not proud of myself. Big headed? Don't wear too big a hat! (Seek help from my friend who in the end get this from her dad! Hahah! Pro!) Still doing it.. Soon as I figure out what to be on my skin for like forever? YOLO much

• Blood donating.

Done. Like finally. So far once. There was a problem with my blood, don't know if it get through the test or they threw it away. But I guess I will soon do the good deed again. Of course, check with them is my blood useful or not first... Very geli but well. Blood bank lack of blood. More Blood!!

• Go abroad.

Hahaha! I made it! =.= Lame. But yea. I nvr been abroad before but in 2012 (was 20 yrs old) I went out of Msia twice!!! Not like I went on any glam trip oversea or what. I basically went to Thailand with 1 of my friends. Me so proud of this. Thank my friend too if not I wouldn't be able to I guess. Then went Singapore with another 3 friends. I miscount my budget, could have spent more on what I wanted. Shit... I will do better next time. Lack of experience. Will gain more. Found some good and suitable kaki to have fun together.

I don't knw what else I listed down for 2012. Couldn't find the paper/file. Hahaha! But mostly these.

I hv tried so many things this year. I guess my friends around me have me enlightened. I have changed, so much difference compared to the 'old' me. I didn't want to admit I hv change probably because I think I have changed into a worse one and didn't wanna believe in that. I am now open to it already. I have changed for good. Better person? Better thinking? Better future? Its okay, I am okay like this. I believe that when I am going the wrong way friends will hold me back. Then it will depend on me whether or not to be able to do whatever that helps.

Think too much. I am all good right now. And older. I so wanna make new year resolution list for 2013. But still doesnt feel like a new year to me. I will perhaps do it soon as the feeling/mood/idea comes.

I wish u a great year ahead. To the World! And to my friends! And to my family! Of course to Yi Wen!

Peace.

Pieces

Wasn't sad or emo or near anywhere negative. But when I hear this playing back in my car, it got me thinking.

I tried to be perfect

But nothing was worth it

I don't believe it makes me real

I thought it'd be easy

But no one believes me

I meant all the things I said

If you believe it's in my soul

I'd say all the words that I know

Just to see if it would show

That I'm trying to let you know

That I'm better off on my own

This place is so empty

My thoughts are so tempting

I don't know how it got so bad

Sometimes it's so crazy

That nothing can save me

But it's the only thing that I have

If you believe it's in my soul

I'd say all the words that I know

Just to see if it would show

That I'm trying to let you know

That I'm better off on my own

On my own

I tried to be perfect

It just wasn't worth it

Nothing could ever be so wrong

It's hard to believe me

It never gets easy

I guess I knew that all along

If you believe it's in my soul

I'd say all the words that I know

Just to see if it would show

That I'm trying to let you know

That I'm better off on my own

Maybe I try too hard to hide?

Maybe I try too hard to be presentable?

Maybe I should give myself a chance to be who and what I really am?

Maybe I should give others a chance to see and accept who and what I really am?

Try so hard just to be perfect in others eyes...

Punishment

Whole bunch of promises. Unfulfilled.

Too many people making promises and not keeping it. I had zero expectation, expected zero commitment, zero promises from u all. But u guys were the one making promises. Since u initiated and promised, so why can't u keep it? 

OR PLEASE, just never say anything u are not gonna fulfill. It's not necessary. Please don't act like u are a good, kind person putting up with things just because u're just too fking kind, nice and good hearted.

Well. Even u have done these. A 'sorry' could have solved everything easily too. Don't pretend like nothing just happened. Bitch much.

I made a mistake. I couldn't undo it. I just couldn't get over it at this very moment and I just had to emo for the day. So I have decided to reward myself with a little punishment. So here comes the punishment. Bread week for next week. PLEASE never ever do that again.