처음이다

Was supposed to think of what I wanna do for this brand new year. It's already March and I still have nothing on mind. Maybe because I have done quite a lots of things I have always wanted to last year. (Which were mostly doable with money.)

For 2013, I really have nothing much on mind except to go through all my exams safely, do my assignments quickly, complete my dissertation finely and graduate my degree nicely. Hahaha! Sounds so simple... =.= But that's pretty much what I should do for this year, to the extend that I even give up on planning trip which I promised to myself. (Well, if I go through my degree safely, France is where I am going. So there is still a trip. Kekeke!) So ya... Basically 2013 is all about the degree, learning to swim, Korean, harmonica and picking up bike riding (as if it's easy). Pick up more good habits instead of sitting infront of the laptop I should.

Be a better person. Be truthful to myself and others. Be hardworking. Be nice. Be confident. Be happy. Be everything good which I never/seldom practice before this. Be environmental friendly. And be happy again.

Oh. Even though, I mentioned that I have nothing much on mind for 2013 (at first) but now err greedy a bit. Something/one came along the way, and so I wish it lasts. Finger crossed. And stop thinking so much. Today my friend just mentioned, I shouldn't just use d'brain at all time, sometimes things get better without d'brain I guess.

And for the title. Recently feel so stupid sometimes. So many first time. Omg. It's like going into the dark without knowing what's inside. Like going into the exam hall without studying, better still, without knowing what subject u are taking. Scary shit... Oh well. Everything has it's first time. I think it's just that I am getting more timid as I grow older.

Internship
Met people. Made friends. Crazy people Fun friends. It's so fun I am gonna die. Hahaha! Learn so much from new friends. I miss old friends too. I realised they really care bout me so much. =') Gamdong. Thank you. I will be more expressive next time I see u guys. So that u wont feel that ur concern is wasted. xDD

Peace. ^^

Bye, 2012.

Typical post for another year end/new year. But this year, 2013, I don't feel like it's a whole new year. Maybe because there isn't any long break in between. Everything is like overlapping each and other. Fun but mum nag...

I have a habit of writing out new year resolutions like the others since 2010 I think. Well, it was a new thing I learnt about back then, and they say by making list of what u are going to achieve in the year helps u to be a successful person. Wanted to be successful I guess. Hahaha!

My past lists were a bit kiddie but 2012 one was fine I guess. (2012's New Year Resolution)

• Sleep earlier. (On the to-do list since the day I learnt to make new year resolution list)

Always fail. This is still gonna be on the 2013 list. x/

• Learn something new.

I actually bought a harmonica. But I havent master it. Or better still I only trried like once/twice on the same note. I started to learn swimming too. Only swam for like 4 times? Fail case. But my friends say I actually know how to swim. Just dont know how to breath. =.=

• Tattoo?

Not done yet. Fear blocking my way. Ya. Would like to try. One who scared of injections wanna try having tattoo. So not proud of myself. Big headed? Don't wear too big a hat! (Seek help from my friend who in the end get this from her dad! Hahah! Pro!) Still doing it.. Soon as I figure out what to be on my skin for like forever? YOLO much

• Blood donating.

Done. Like finally. So far once. There was a problem with my blood, don't know if it get through the test or they threw it away. But I guess I will soon do the good deed again. Of course, check with them is my blood useful or not first... Very geli but well. Blood bank lack of blood. More Blood!!

• Go abroad.

Hahaha! I made it! =.= Lame. But yea. I nvr been abroad before but in 2012 (was 20 yrs old) I went out of Msia twice!!! Not like I went on any glam trip oversea or what. I basically went to Thailand with 1 of my friends. Me so proud of this. Thank my friend too if not I wouldn't be able to I guess. Then went Singapore with another 3 friends. I miscount my budget, could have spent more on what I wanted. Shit... I will do better next time. Lack of experience. Will gain more. Found some good and suitable kaki to have fun together.

I don't knw what else I listed down for 2012. Couldn't find the paper/file. Hahaha! But mostly these.

I hv tried so many things this year. I guess my friends around me have me enlightened. I have changed, so much difference compared to the 'old' me. I didn't want to admit I hv change probably because I think I have changed into a worse one and didn't wanna believe in that. I am now open to it already. I have changed for good. Better person? Better thinking? Better future? Its okay, I am okay like this. I believe that when I am going the wrong way friends will hold me back. Then it will depend on me whether or not to be able to do whatever that helps.

Think too much. I am all good right now. And older. I so wanna make new year resolution list for 2013. But still doesnt feel like a new year to me. I will perhaps do it soon as the feeling/mood/idea comes.

I wish u a great year ahead. To the World! And to my friends! And to my family! Of course to Yi Wen!

Peace.

Pieces

Wasn't sad or emo or near anywhere negative. But when I hear this playing back in my car, it got me thinking.

I tried to be perfect

But nothing was worth it

I don't believe it makes me real

I thought it'd be easy

But no one believes me

I meant all the things I said

If you believe it's in my soul

I'd say all the words that I know

Just to see if it would show

That I'm trying to let you know

That I'm better off on my own

This place is so empty

My thoughts are so tempting

I don't know how it got so bad

Sometimes it's so crazy

That nothing can save me

But it's the only thing that I have

If you believe it's in my soul

I'd say all the words that I know

Just to see if it would show

That I'm trying to let you know

That I'm better off on my own

On my own

I tried to be perfect

It just wasn't worth it

Nothing could ever be so wrong

It's hard to believe me

It never gets easy

I guess I knew that all along

If you believe it's in my soul

I'd say all the words that I know

Just to see if it would show

That I'm trying to let you know

That I'm better off on my own

Maybe I try too hard to hide?

Maybe I try too hard to be presentable?

Maybe I should give myself a chance to be who and what I really am?

Maybe I should give others a chance to see and accept who and what I really am?

Try so hard just to be perfect in others eyes...