Fog . Mist

It is coming to an end. Well. Not really. It’s just diploma that is ending. And I am just 19. Still a long way to go.

Friends around me have actually decided what to do. Like to continue their degree in what field, go to which country for their further studies, all sorts of thing. And yet I don’t have a single clue what to do after my diploma. (I really hope I can pass my diploma before I even have any clue for my future.)

When I was small, I wanted to be an astronaut. For like 6 years (Standard 3 – Form 3). I only realised that it is not easy to be one when Physics, Chemistry and Biology came into my life. I didn’t even know what the hell are those when I was 15.

Is not that it is impossible to be an astronaut or what. Is just that I realised I have no interest in it. Or maybe I chose to not have interest in it. I have to admit I am a super duper big fat lazy bum. I never really study for my exams since small.

Maybe it is because I am from a Chinese primary school. We don’t actually need to study or rather know what to achieve. Basically the work load get us well prepared for our exam. No extra effort needed.

After my diploma, what I know is that I don’t wanna sit in an office. But my mama says that as a girl, office work will be the best to actually earn my own living. Accountant, secretary, those positions in banks and companies.

And business. Is definitely out of my choices. But I understand that eventually I will end with it since everything is actually connected to business. Just don’t wanna major in it. I really have no idea the subjects business students study. Econs, accounts, finance and all that. I just cant understand where the hell they pop up from.

So far I have thought of being an educator or a makeup artist. Rather than continuing hospitality management. I don’t know to ask who for consultation. Some of my friends actually gave me more ideas about the fields. Well I would like to ask a elder sis or bro of mine but I don’t have one. And my parents give me enough freedom to pick what I want to do. With some basic restriction of course.

 or 

Go back to Hospitality?

I have learnt quite a lot from a recent trip to Langkawi. And I am actually more expressive which I think is not good. But sometimes I am just blindfolded by the situation going on rather than caring people around me. Very true that my friends told me that I am carefree. I can simply just switch off and let go everything as long as I feel like it. I always put in effort only when I know I can reap what I sow. If I see no future in that thing, I will not look at it even for once.

I never want to put in cause of one simple reason. I don’t want the end result to upset me. I am sometimes too self-protective, stubborn and ignorant. Till one point that I will just push away one good thing/person, just to make sure I leave no chance for it to leave me. I rather let go than being sad of it leaving me even though leaving is just one of a million consequences.

I just have to list out what I found out. Accept them and start making changes in it when I am still young. Well I have been repeating this don’t know since when. I shall focus on my diploma first then I will do something on my carefreeness.

Wow! Langkawi. I shall one day make it MY trip rather than a trip to please people. 1^st step of doing this is make true friends that we can actually tell every single opinion without fear. Cause true friend dy ma, so I assumed that the bond wont break.

It’s still fun. I see things in people. Haha! I am actually happy with what I found out. Now it’s clearer and I will proceed with what I see. (Although I always have this thinking of ‘What u see might not be true; what u hear might not be real.’) And I actually went for cable car! Ahaha!

Group Photo.

And I wanna watch In Time!!! I don't care! You must accompany me to watch this! =P